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Please Pardon My French, But I Just Happen To Love Pu**y

If It Doesn’t Smell Fresh, Don’t Eat It!

Case #: 470

Concern:

I’ll be honest: I am no good with words, so I’ll tell you my disquiet in plain ol’ American because that’s who I am, a cornbread-and-butter-beans cowboy. Please pardon my French, but I just happen to love pu**y.

Every so often (very often actually), I like to give my sugar cookie the tongue treatment. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good at eating muff pie, because I’m slow and careful like a naked man climbing a barbed wire fence. I know my sugar pie is keen on it because she howls like a coyote while I grin like a hyena.

But there are times, sweet Jesus, when my Delilah’s meat pie smells like a mismanaged tuna casserole, which, under different circumstances, is a dish I can appreciate. Is there any elixir my sugar pea can take to make her promised land less “off limits?”

Discussion:

Acrid Vagina

The vagina is a living organism: it’s moist and beaming with benign fungi and bacteria; it’s a thriving, but delicate ecosystem. In order to keep its natural environment, the vaginal needs a balanced pH level. Because of hormonal changes during a woman’s cycle, it’s common for pH to change - especially during and after menstruation.

When pH levels are repeatedly altered, it may result in a malodorous, vaginal discharge. There are different types of secretion but the most common ones are candidiasis (yeast infection) and bacterial vaginosis (BV). Odor, severity and discharge differ in both.

Developing strict hygiene methods is key to maintaining a balanced pH and a healthy vagina. Washing the clitoris, vulva, and labia with neutral, unscented soap before and after sexual activity is recommended. After intercourse or menstruation many women douche as a way of cleansing, but douching can also cause vaginal infection and should be avoided. After menses, if any abnormal discharge is present, sitting in a bath mixture of organic apple cider vinegar, baking soda, and spring water for 10 minutes is likely to balance pH levels.

Bacteria and fungi

Recurrent urinary tract infection (UTI), BV (bacteria-caused), and candidiasis (fungus-born) may be connected to excessive drug intake, poor nutrition and unhealthy sexual activity. A diet consisting mostly of refined sugar and yeast-based foods will increase the risk of a vaginal infection. In order to reduce the risk of an infection, it is important to abide by a diet rich in antioxidants, detox periodically, balance hormone levels and increase immune health.

Master your pH

PH is the level of the acidity in the vagina and it’s measured in relation to the natural secretions of the vaginal walls on a scale that ranges from 0 to 14 .7 is neutral, lower values are more acidic, and higher numbers more alkaline. Because the vagina’s microflora is akin to an aqueous solution, it’s necessary to keep its acidity within the range of 3.8 to 4.8.

Lactobacilli are microaerophilic bacteria present in the vagina. They are usually benign, producing a form of lactic acid and serving as live protection against infection. An imbalanced pH can lead to discharges that vary from yellowish, grayish to off-white and that are often accompanied by an acrid smell.

A yeast infection discharge will have the consistency of cottage cheese and a Kefir-like smell, while BV secretions are viscous and have a fishy odor. During ovulation, there will be the secretion of a translucent discharge, which smells like semen.

So if you notice your sugar cookie’s meat pie smells like a tuna casserole, you have options to alleviate the smell and improve your “muff diving" from the help of secret herbal formula...(more)

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